How deeply social media impacts our decisions
For the last few years I have taken some big steps in my self help journey. From losing weight to deepening my faith, I have definitely come a long way. But I had begun feeling as if I had hit a wall. While I was certainly in a better place than I was just a few years ago, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was holding me back.
But what exactly could it be? I ate better, drank plenty of water, and even exercised more. Perhaps I wasn’t doing enough of all of the above? Trying to increase all of these only made me feel more burnt out. It felt like everything I did needed to be monitored. I found myself turning more and more to social media gurus to guide me.
Social media has taught me a lot, and in a many ways I love it! It feels good to listen to actual people with real experiences and with so many people posting everyday it becomes easy to find your niche group of people.
But social media has changed a lot over the years. Many see social media as nothing more than a quick cash grab. You often see people humiliating themselves online in the hopes their video will go viral. On top of that ads are through the roof and the overall landscape that once was geared to the people has turned to the side of greed.
I am one of the millions of people who’s dream has been to become a content creator. It’s easy to see why, you make money doing what you love. In a sense you gain a type of freedom that many of us don’t have. But because of that the market has become completely flooded.
But over the last few months my ideas on this dream have changed immensely. While I still am in pursuit of this, my eagerness is not the same as it once was. So what magical revelation did I come to?
The End Of An Era
Deleting all my socials was the next step in my self help journey. This of course was not as easy as it sounds. I mean I can’t really become an influencer with no platform in which to influence on. So what changed in my life to lead me to such a drastic decision?
To start I had noticed an ongoing pattern in my life. I constantly found myself trying something new. While at first glance that would seem like a good thing it was quickly becoming a problem. I would see a post online, get all the things to try it, but soon enough I would find myself getting bored and quickly moving onto the next eye catching thing.
It began feeling like this never ending loop of trying new things. I wasn’t building any solid routines and instead I was trying new product after new product. With so many choices I kept searching for that perfect product that would somehow change my life.
But before I could even put the proper dedication to one product I had already let an influencer convince me that I needed something else. Soon it was no longer just trying a new face wash. It became this obsession to keep looking for things to solve all my problems.
If I could just buy this one eyeliner I would surely be better at makeup? Maybe getting a new water bottle would encourage me to drink more water? When I finally get that serum maybe my acne would finally go away?
But these were all just what if’s, and every time I seemed to buy more I just found myself more concerned that it wasn’t working. Leading me to buy more and more. But as things have gotten more expensive I realized I just couldn’t keep living like that.
On top of that I always felt behind in life. While I was struggling to pay bills the women I watched online were going on vacations, eating out, going to the gym, and just overall seemed happier. They even made it seem as if I could live that same life, if I bought there $1k plus online course.
It was no wonder that eventually I became burnt out. I was tired of spending money, tired of comparing how I looked, and tired of caring about what people thought of me. But did deleting my socials even change anything?
Discovering Ourselves
Well actually it did and in fact it blessed me in so many ways I wouldn’t expect. I won’t lie it definitely took some adjusting as I had been using social media for everything. Finding meal ideas, workout routines, new skincare tips. But now it’s me influencing me.
A lot of the time people think being influenced is stupid or non-existent. I mean after all it’s your decision at the end of the day on what to spend your money on. But it is also the job of influencers to influence and adds to convince you to buy.
In today’s landscape everything feels like an add. Even things that aren’t adds end up making you feel left out. That one girl you see on your feed who is just perfect becomes your next stress fuel.
But that perfect life they live is often times fake. After all no one said you had to be honest with what you put out there. Many times those lives they live are being paid for by family, scamming fans, or just luck.
Deleting my socials has helped me truly discover me. What do I like? Not what should I like. What does a healthy me look like? Not what should I look like. What things do I enjoy doing? Not what should I be doing.
It for sure took some adjusting, after all sometimes you just need something easy to do for a sec. But let’s be honest that sec turns into hours of doom scrolling. It makes your dreams just that, dreams. Instead of action you fantasize about how your life should be.
A New Plan Of Action
Taking this break has made me realize just what kind of content creator I want to be. As a kid I saw it as a way to make money, lots of money. With that money I could chose to live life my way.
But that is where my I made my first mistake. I was basing my happiness on money. While it is cliché, it is one of the most important lessons we can learn. After all wanting money is how we got to this point in today’s society. People are greedy and it’s a feeling we are stuck with.
While it’s important to always be bettering yourself, there becomes a point in which that desire comes at the expense of others. It becomes hard to feel that your enough when your constantly comparing your life to others online.
I realized that even if I achieved my dream it wouldn’t automatically make me happier. Don’t get me wrong money could solve a lot of my problems. But in their place would pop up a whole world of new ones.
In truth I like the person I am becoming. I’m not perfect, in fact I make a lot of mistakes. But I finally am becoming friends with me. While I still occasionally hop online it’s more often times with purpose, not to doom scroll.
I still intend to work on being a content creator but now I treat it as more of a hobby. Something I do because I want to, not because I need it to pay my bills. This also allows me to be more creative as I only post when I feel like it. No more forcing ideas that I do only because I think it will drive the most traffic.
While I’m not saying you need to go cold turkey like I did, I hope to inspire you to continue to find the things YOU need. Not what people tell you, but truly things that better you. But of course don’t just listen to me, find the things that work for you, even if your the only one doing it.
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With love, Victoria Fox
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