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How I accrued debt and how I’ve been combating it

For the longest time the topic of debt was always a touchy subject for me. It’s one of those things that can be hard to admit to but has become so common that I no longer view it as such a taboo topic. Just like a lot of other people I didn’t go out of my way to find debt, instead debt found me. I had done everything right, I finished high school, budgeted money, and even graduated debt free from college after getting a free ride thanks to my schools running start program. Things were looking bright and I was optimistic, soon though debt began to find me in small ways. Now the debt I carry feels heavy but slowly I have been working my way towards a debt free future. I am definitely not alone when it comes to paying off debt as nowadays many things you could once purchase in one go are just far to expensive for the average American to buy, let alone all in one go.

Falling Into Debt

While I was given a head start in life by having my college paid for, in return I found myself in a bad situation at home and needed to move out. Not yet 18, I was already paying my own bills and figuring out how to navigate life. For the most part I was doing good, I had a part time job and really not a whole lot of bills to pay. I had been lucky that my grandpa was looking to get rid of one of his old cars, a 1999 Chevy Monte Carlo. It wasn’t anything fancy or new but it got me where I needed to go, plus it was free so I wasn’t going to complain. Once I had turned 18 and begun working a full-time job I began to notice a change in my spending habits. I finally had adult money and I was excited to finally be able to start enjoying it. But of course what would life be without one of it’s many surprises and soon enough I found myself needing a new car. Although I was doing pretty well thanks to the teamwork between me and my husband, we still weren’t ready to be taking out any car loans. I wouldn’t realize it at the time but I was about to become real familiar with car loans. Both my husband and I are quite into cars but despite our research every car we had gotten was turning into a dud. We would work hard and save up just for the car we currently had to quit on us once we had finally financially recovered. After repeating this cycle several times we had decided enough was enough, we kept landing ourselves back onto square one so it was time to do something different

Credit cards have always been something that scared me. As much as it is important to have credit, growing up I watched both my parents constantly drowning in debt. Every month it was the same fiasco, where did all our money go? How will I have enough to pay my bills this month? I never imagined I would be in the same boat. I had always assumed that they were in so much debt out of their own carelessness and while a lot of it was, now as an adult I see how easy it is to start mounting debt. For a long time I thought the key was if I just didn’t get a credit card I would have way less of a chance of drowning in debt like they did. But car problem after car problem, both my husband I decided to bite the bullet and try buying a new car. We still didn’t have the money to buy anything brand new but at least we would be getting a car with less miles and hopefully have it be more reliable. I figured with the car being several years old at that point that surely the cost would be manageable. Boy was I wrong, since we had a loan on it we had to have full coverage insurance. Up until that point all we had driven were cars no newer than 1999 so insurance was typically less than 100 dollars a month so surely this new car wouldn’t be that bad right? WRONG! Insurance ended up being almost $800 a month which that combined with the monthly payments of $350 were killing almost a whole paycheck in one go. Despite not getting a fancy new car it felt like we were paying the equivalent for one. Soon all of our savings began to dwindle away, going all towards car payments, bills, and groceries.

Getting Back Up

Trying to get back up can be so hard when you already have enough on your plate to begin with. It began to feel hopeless, I had done everything by the book just how the people around me expected me to. Even cutting back on fun stuff like eating out or going out on the town wasn’t seeming to make a dent. As the years continued to climb things around me just kept getting more and more expensive, making it hard to catch up. I would finally feel financially free just for another curve ball to be thrown at me. From medical bills to car loans to even bad choices in friends things began to feel impossible. Not only was always being worried about money beginning to take it’s toll on me but now I had no money to try to distract myself. I used to have extra money saved for a rainy day treat, something small like a take-out pizza or for new bottle of mascara. Something to cheer me up and distract myself when times were stressful. But those small pick me ups still cost money so I began cutting them out. It felt like I had no money to actually enjoy, life was becoming this endless cut scene, go to work to earn money to pay off the car I need to get to work. No more going out, no more eating out, I even found myself not wanting to hangout with friends even though I knew they would be more than happy to cover for me because I didn’t want to burden them with my own problems.

I began getting burnt out and decided I couldn’t keep living my life under this stressful loop. Since I couldn’t afford to go out I decided I needed to find a way to distract myself at home. But that too came with challenges, often times I came home exhausted, not only from having to wake up early but also because I had just become so stressed out. I decided I need to make myself a goal, one I could work on to distract myself with but also balance with my already busy life. Baking and cooking were both hobbies I greatly enjoyed but due to me getting busier I saw myself doing a lot less of both. So I started picking back up where I left off, I need food anyways so why not get back into cooking. While I still was cooking quick easy meals I hadn’t just cooked to cook and instead cooking was becoming just another chore. I also began working on this blog after realizing I wasn’t not the only one in life struggling, in fact a lot of the problems I was facing were also ones other people were trying to work through as well.

Besides focusing on at home hobbies I have also had to adjust my perspective on how I was viewing my life. I had at one point always been an optimist, I still had small complaints here and there but for the most part I was always able to find a silver lining. But I began finding it hard to find any joy out of my struggles. I found myself telling myself this will all be worth it, I am struggling now so that tomorrow will be better. Even that didn’t seem to help as everyday I seemed further and further from my goals. While I still struggle to put on a brave face I have been trying my best to fake it till I make it. I realized that dwelling and wallowing in my own problems was not making them any better so I began to look for other avenues to take out my frustration. On days were life began to feel to hard I would write down how I felt. Whether it was on a word document or a random scrap of paper, I would write out why I was sad or stressed and by the time I was done while I still felt sad it felt like I wasn’t just letting these thoughts inside of me boil over. Sometimes I even found solutions to my problems by just working through them as I wrote them down.

A Great Change

One of the goofiest things I have to come to realize with being broke is just how much money doesn’t matter. I used to think if I could be one of those lucky people who wins the lottery or makes it big on YouTube, finally I would be free. It really feels like these days you need money to feel any sense of freedom. You need money to pay for essentials to live so you get a job but soon you need a car, gas, maybe you’ve had a long week and just wanna chill at home but than to relax you have to pay for streaming services to watch a movie. It ends up feeling like all your effort just comes and loops itself back to square one. After repeating this cycle day in and day out for years I finally decided that maybe this battle isn’t worth fighting for. Now that doesn’t mean I just decided to stop paying all my bills and become a freeloader, no instead I decided I wasn’t going to let money control me.

But how do not let money control you in a world where money can seem to get you out of anything? Well money doesn’t just affect what you buy, it also begins to affect your mind. You begin to spend so much time worrying about money that it becomes all you can think of. Taking a day off work becomes hard when you have bills to pay and treating yourself comes with waves of guilt as why did you buy that when you could be saving money? It starts to get hard to just enjoy life but we only get one life. While it’s important to work in order to make money it is also important to take care of yourself. I noticed that even when I didn’t miss a day of work I was still in the same spot if not worse from all the stressful days at work. While I still make an effort to show up to work so I can pull myself out of this I no longer feel guilty taking a day off for myself. Money was making me exhaust myself with no reward in the end. I stopped viewing my problems as a money only solution. What were things I could do that would still allow me to enjoy my life without involving money? This has caused me to start stepping out of my comfort zone, trying new hobbies, learning to DIY things, and much much more all without having money as the final say.

While I still am not debt free I don’t let money rule me. I find ways to keep myself busy at home and look for ways both me and friends can go out and enjoy our youth without breaking the bank. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I have even if at the time it doesn’t feel like much and I have made myself realistic goals designed to give me small wins along the way to continue to give me that push I need to continue moving forward. It also has taught me not to be so careless, watch where your money goes and save where you can even if it is a little at a time. My favorite way to save has been to keep a stash of physical cash, I find it to easy to spend money with a card so having a stash of cash has saved my back in all sorts of emergencies. Even if all you can save is a dollar at a time I have come to realize something is better than nothing and over time if you can stick with it you will see your hard work pay off. Thank you to all those who stayed to the end as I know today’s post was a long one. I hope you all enjoyed and please feel free to comment your thoughts or perspectives on today’s topic. Make sure to leave a like or subscribe for more weekly content!

With love, Veronica Fox